Online Critique Assignment Due by end of class 10/25
Please take a good look at this story and critique all things: storytelling, editing, camera work, composition, transitions, pacing. Would you approach this story differently?
The story first of all is shocking! But right off the top the story telling and composition of children smoking draws the viewer in to a point where they have to see the rest of the story. The storytelling is interesting, it mixes sit-down interviews and what seems to be live to tape segments on the streets of Indonesia and New York. The editing was fast paced along with the story, which kept you wanting to know what was going to happen next.
The transitions were unique but effective because of the pace of the editing. The sound effects that went with the transitions enhanced them as well. I would not approach this story differently, because it is such a random and weird story that an unusual take is acceptable.
First, off I think it's crazy that a baby is smoking and that they allow it in Indonesia. But I like how the storytelling started out talking about the smoking baby, because that is what drew you in to the story. Then it went in to detail about how easy it is for children to buy cigarettes there.I like all the B roll they got of the cigarette factories and actually showing the small children smoking, showing that they are pros like some adults. It really put emphasis on the story even more.
There was one part where the scenes kept switching really fast which I thought was a good technique. There were a lot of transitions and some were really quick but it wasn't annoying to the point where you couldn't watch it.
The camera work was great with all the different angles and variety of shots. I think it really brought you into the story.
This story opens up speaking about a 2 year old smoker, I believe they said his name is Aldi, smoking. The opening shot is not only striking because he is 2, but also because he is what appears to be obese. Seeing him smoke struck more of a resonate chord with me because he appeared so unhealthy altogether.
I liked how they told the story visually and verbally at once saying, "We went to find him," while there was b-roll of the interviewer on the plane and in a car in the village. The part where they showed him running as they were talking about "catching up with him" was a cute visual and verbal link as well. Very good editing.
The story seemed like a Christmas tree style. It focused on the 2 year old then widened out saying it is a problem all over the country by showing clips of other kids smoking, then it focused in on a 7 year old and widened back out to a more broad point of how could kids be able to access these so easily.
It could also be argued that this story is a diamond structure. It started on children, widened out to society, then focused back in on the 2 year old before they cut to a commercial break.
I liked that they told the beliefs of the parents, like if the boy drinks a lot of coffee, smoking will be okay for him. This told the viewer that parents were not intentionally harming their kids. It showed the viewer the government just obviously was not doing its part in campaigning to get parents and adults in general to understand the health risks properly.
This story had many resonate chords, the little girl buying the cigarettes, the 10 cent cigarettes, equipped with a lighter, and the documents from the big tobacco companies that clearly showed interest in reaching children, despite their denial of that.
I thought the editing was very visually appealing. I liked how they placed the documents on the screen and blew up key phrases and words related to their desires to reach youth.
It was eyeopening how they compared and contrasted our use of the Marlboro Man in the past and how we have changed use of him in the present. It made Indonesia feel very delayed in their understanding of how these cigarettes are affecting their people.
The darkness of the shots of the 7 year old who was the most shocking smoker, skill wise, of them all was good to add to the horror of kids smoking. The dark music also helped add to the feeling. When he made O's with his smoke it struck a chord with me.
I didn't see many transitions, just jump cuts, until he started speaking about the "time warp" there were a few consecutive dip-to-color transitions which used a gold color, not sure why gold was used. I think they may have just got tired of jump cuts. Then when he said "time warp" there was a swirl type of transition which led into an old, black and white, cigarette commercial.
The composition was great. I am sure they had a ton of footage to cut down and make into a story and I think they did a good job of doing that. The pacing was actually a little slow for me at times, but it was not terribly lagging.
However, I did feel like they lingered too long on some of the kids stories, or it was repetitive. Like the little boy whose grandpa helped him smoke, he walked outside and they said "no one was bothered" well right, most kids smoke in Indonesia as you already stated.
I would have been a little less redundant and would have had less zooms and maybe placed dip-to-colors in more meaningful places instead of suddenly using them. Other than that it was very well told and edited.
The camera work was okay. It was shaky, as expected, because they were walking around a lot which added character to the story. I could have done without all of the zooms though. I didn't mind the zoom-ins as much as the zoom-outs.
The attention grabbing first shot of the two year old smoking like an experienced old man not only lures the view in it also strikes the resonate chord with its viewers. Also the seven year old boy blowing rings of smoke like a professional. The initial edit cuts had no transitions. In fact I only noticed one and it was a dissolve transition. The segment was fast paced, with each shot leaving the viewer wanting more. I believe this is the Christmas tree style because it begins with one child smoking then the village and on to a bigger problem of the tobacco company. Excellent use of B-roll and the high angle shot inside of the helicopter looking down on the village. A shot that hit the resonate chord was the upward angle shot of the security guard at the tobacco company office instructing the reporter to leave. Lighting was greatly used to tell a story when the children of the village were smoking the lightening was dimmed perhaps to add a sadness over the situation of tobacco and children smoking. I think this clip was culturally bias…our country believes that anyone smoking is an idiot, and with ‘AMERICANS being so SUPERIOR’ to other countries we believe it is our civic duty to enlighten others, but our beliefs should not be thrust upon others as if our beliefs are more superior than other’s. All in all this was an excellent well put together clip that is sure to spark discussion.
This was the craziest thing I've ever seen!! The storytelling was very compelling but I don't know if it was due to the technique in which it was told or just because of the content. Either way, it kept my attention from beginning to end. The camera work and editing was definitely unusual but I think that they wanted to keep it on the same level as the story.... unusual. The only thing different that I would have done is have more in depth interviews set up. As soon as he walked into the cigarette corporate office, I already knew what was going to happen so I think it would have added more to the piece if they had people ready to talk because any thing they said would have just added to the ridiculousness of the topic. I enjoyed the fast pace of the piece which ingeniously somehow added to my outrage and noticed that there were hardly any transitions between scenes that also enhanced the element of roughness and confusion.
Good Piece, I felt that the camera work was strong and they did a good job making you feel like you were really walking the streets of Indonesia. The pacing was good, it kept you interested in the story by telling the stories simply. Editing would go along with that, they did a good job at keeping the pace and had great use of broll. Transitions were well placed, and the use of broll helped the transitions to seem effortless.
The storytelling was also good, they shocked you by introducing this concept of the smoking baby. Then they made it even more compelling by showing the epidemic of tobacco in Indonesia. The choice to start with one person and move out to show how it’s effecting the whole area was nice. However, I think that I would have approached this story a little differently. While I was watching it I felt, that they were trying to make this situation funny or lighthearted. I think the subject matter is actually quite serious, and the lighthearted nature of this piece made it seem to lack a genuine factor. If I was part of this production, I would try to make things a little more serious and not so relaxed.
I remember seeing the smoking baby about a year or two ago and can recall the outrage of the many people posting comments on blogs. With that in mind the shock factor was really good making it easier to strike a resonant chord. However, after viewing the clip there were still a fews things that I would have changed. For one I would have edited out the reporter's response to one of the children smoking. In the piece he mentioned how it was incredible to be breathing in a baby's smoke. I think that the use of the word "incredible" did not fit with the disturbing images of the child smoking. Also, I would have liked to have heard the company in that phone call that the reporter gave. For all I know the reporter could have just said some lines while holding the phone. I doubt this show would do that, but I would have rather heard the conversation myself.
The story first of all is shocking! But right off the top the story telling and composition of children smoking draws the viewer in to a point where they have to see the rest of the story. The storytelling is interesting, it mixes sit-down interviews and what seems to be live to tape segments on the streets of Indonesia and New York. The editing was fast paced along with the story, which kept you wanting to know what was going to happen next.
ReplyDeleteThe transitions were unique but effective because of the pace of the editing. The sound effects that went with the transitions enhanced them as well. I would not approach this story differently, because it is such a random and weird story that an unusual take is acceptable.
First, off I think it's crazy that a baby is smoking and that they allow it in Indonesia. But I like how the storytelling started out talking about the smoking baby, because that is what drew you in to the story. Then it went in to detail about how easy it is for children to buy cigarettes there.I like all the B roll they got of the cigarette factories and actually showing the small children smoking, showing that they are pros like some adults. It really put emphasis on the story even more.
ReplyDeleteThere was one part where the scenes kept switching really fast which I thought was a good technique. There were a lot of transitions and some were really quick but it wasn't annoying to the point where you couldn't watch it.
The camera work was great with all the different angles and variety of shots. I think it really brought you into the story.
This story opens up speaking about a 2 year old smoker, I believe they said his name is Aldi, smoking. The opening shot is not only striking because he is 2, but also because he is what appears to be obese. Seeing him smoke struck more of a resonate chord with me because he appeared so unhealthy altogether.
ReplyDeleteI liked how they told the story visually and verbally at once saying, "We went to find him," while there was b-roll of the interviewer on the plane and in a car in the village. The part where they showed him running as they were talking about "catching up with him" was a cute visual and verbal link as well. Very good editing.
The story seemed like a Christmas tree style. It focused on the 2 year old then widened out saying it is a problem all over the country by showing clips of other kids smoking, then it focused in on a 7 year old and widened back out to a more broad point of how could kids be able to access these so easily.
It could also be argued that this story is a diamond structure. It started on children, widened out to society, then focused back in on the 2 year old before they cut to a commercial break.
I liked that they told the beliefs of the parents, like if the boy drinks a lot of coffee, smoking will be okay for him. This told the viewer that parents were not intentionally harming their kids. It showed the viewer the government just obviously was not doing its part in campaigning to get parents and adults in general to understand the health risks properly.
This story had many resonate chords, the little girl buying the cigarettes, the 10 cent cigarettes, equipped with a lighter, and the documents from the big tobacco companies that clearly showed interest in reaching children, despite their denial of that.
I thought the editing was very visually appealing. I liked how they placed the documents on the screen and blew up key phrases and words related to their desires to reach youth.
It was eyeopening how they compared and contrasted our use of the Marlboro Man in the past and how we have changed use of him in the present. It made Indonesia feel very delayed in their understanding of how these cigarettes are affecting their people.
The darkness of the shots of the 7 year old who was the most shocking smoker, skill wise, of them all was good to add to the horror of kids smoking. The dark music also helped add to the feeling. When he made O's with his smoke it struck a chord with me.
I didn't see many transitions, just jump cuts, until he started speaking about the "time warp" there were a few consecutive dip-to-color transitions which used a gold color, not sure why gold was used. I think they may have just got tired of jump cuts. Then when he said "time warp" there was a swirl type of transition which led into an old, black and white, cigarette commercial.
The composition was great. I am sure they had a ton of footage to cut down and make into a story and I think they did a good job of doing that. The pacing was actually a little slow for me at times, but it was not terribly lagging.
However, I did feel like they lingered too long on some of the kids stories, or it was repetitive. Like the little boy whose grandpa helped him smoke, he walked outside and they said "no one was bothered" well right, most kids smoke in Indonesia as you already stated.
I would have been a little less redundant and would have had less zooms and maybe placed dip-to-colors in more meaningful places instead of suddenly using them. Other than that it was very well told and edited.
The camera work was okay. It was shaky, as expected, because they were walking around a lot which added character to the story. I could have done without all of the zooms though. I didn't mind the zoom-ins as much as the zoom-outs.
I apologize for always being so long winded.
-Carrie
The attention grabbing first shot of the two year old smoking like an experienced old man not only lures the view in it also strikes the resonate chord with its viewers. Also the seven year old boy blowing rings of smoke like a professional.
ReplyDeleteThe initial edit cuts had no transitions. In fact I only noticed one and it was a dissolve transition. The segment was fast paced, with each shot leaving the viewer wanting more.
I believe this is the Christmas tree style because it begins with one child smoking then the village and on to a bigger problem of the tobacco company. Excellent use of B-roll and the high angle shot inside of the helicopter looking down on the village.
A shot that hit the resonate chord was the upward angle shot of the security guard at the tobacco company office instructing the reporter to leave.
Lighting was greatly used to tell a story when the children of the village were smoking the lightening was dimmed perhaps to add a sadness over the situation of tobacco and children smoking.
I think this clip was culturally bias…our country believes that anyone smoking is an idiot, and with ‘AMERICANS being so SUPERIOR’ to other countries we believe it is our civic duty to enlighten others, but our beliefs should not be thrust upon others as if our beliefs are more superior than other’s.
All in all this was an excellent well put together clip that is sure to spark discussion.
from Candice...
ReplyDeleteThis was the craziest thing I've ever seen!! The storytelling was very compelling but I don't know if it was due to the technique in which it was told or just because of the content. Either way, it kept my attention from beginning to end. The camera work and editing was definitely unusual but I think that they wanted to keep it on the same level as the story.... unusual. The only thing different that I would have done is have more in depth interviews set up. As soon as he walked into the cigarette corporate office, I already knew what was going to happen so I think it would have added more to the piece if they had people ready to talk because any thing they said would have just added to the ridiculousness of the topic. I enjoyed the fast pace of the piece which ingeniously somehow added to my outrage and noticed that there were hardly any transitions between scenes that also enhanced the element of roughness and confusion.
Candice Cameron
Good Piece, I felt that the camera work was strong and they did a good job making you feel like you were really walking the streets of Indonesia. The pacing was good, it kept you interested in the story by telling the stories simply. Editing would go along with that, they did a good job at keeping the pace and had great use of broll. Transitions were well placed, and the use of broll helped the transitions to seem effortless.
ReplyDeleteThe storytelling was also good, they shocked you by introducing this concept of the smoking baby. Then they made it even more compelling by showing the epidemic of tobacco in Indonesia. The choice to start with one person and move out to show how it’s effecting the whole area was nice. However, I think that I would have approached this story a little differently. While I was watching it I felt, that they were trying to make this situation funny or lighthearted. I think the subject matter is actually quite serious, and the lighthearted nature of this piece made it seem to lack a genuine factor. If I was part of this production, I would try to make things a little more serious and not so relaxed.
I remember seeing the smoking baby about a year or two ago and can recall the outrage of the many people posting comments on blogs. With that in mind the shock factor was really good making it easier to strike a resonant chord.
ReplyDeleteHowever, after viewing the clip there were still a fews things that I would have changed. For one I would have edited out the reporter's response to one of the children smoking. In the piece he mentioned how it was incredible to be breathing in a baby's smoke. I think that the use of the word "incredible" did not fit with the disturbing images of the child smoking.
Also, I would have liked to have heard the company in that phone call that the reporter gave. For all I know the reporter could have just said some lines while holding the phone. I doubt this show would do that, but I would have rather heard the conversation myself.